


Song Fics

by TrashStash



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst with a (sorta?) Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, Mental Health Issues, Minor Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-09 16:32:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7809124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashStash/pseuds/TrashStash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of either long or short fanfiction that's based on songs I listen too, but if you want you can send me one of your songs. That's cool too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song Fics

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've always wanted to do, it seems simple enough, like, ya listen to a song and write a fic.

Chris ran a shaky hand down his face as he paced around his room.  He didn't know what he was doing, he didn't-

Chris sighed. He didn't know what he was _going_ to do. Looking down at the gun on his nightstand, he felt like throwing up.

He had just loaded it, that's as far as he got. He had been keeping it there for the past three days, trying to get the courage to do it, as well as have time to give his belongings away and write a note to everyone he thought needed one. He picked it up, and turning the safety off his stomach flopped. Now, he could fire it. Now it got real.

' _I can just do it,_ ' he thought ' _I can just shoot myself in the head and it'll be over'._  Chris lifted it and pointed it lazily at his head  _'My neighbors will hear it, they'll find me, and they'll call the police, then the police will call my family and then everyone at Rooster Teeth will hear about it from my mom, and_ '

And Chris gagged hard as he squatted down beside his bed, placing the gun down. What the fuck was he doing? His eyes watered up as he gagged again, hands starting to shake as he tried breathing through the wave of nausea. He was trying to kill himself. He had loaded the fucking gun with the bullets he planned on using on himself.

He couldn't get out of this situation anymore. He went to far. Either he went thorough with it, or he called someone. If he called someone, he would go to the hospital, whether he wanted too or not. If he went through with it-

He closed his eyes as another wave of nausea hit him. He didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't want to kill himself anymore. Sitting up and on the bed, he grabbed his phone. He just clicked any contact he had, before putting the phone up to his ear and hearing it ring. He had to tell someone, he had to get out of this situation. He shouldn't be thinking like this, it wasn't, it, it wasn't fair for him to do. He was being selfish, how could he have done this to them? How could he hurt everyone like this, how could he be about to hurt the person he was calling? 

The phone kept ringing, and after the seventh ring, he pulled the phone away and saw who he was calling; Aaron Marquis. 

 

Aaron already knew about his suicidal thoughts, along with Zach. They've known each other since college, of course they did. He's talked to them about it, he's brought them _along_ on his visits to his outpatient treatment, he'd involved them in his safety plan if or when it got bad. So, realistically, he was the perfect person to be calling. 

 

' _No, no just do it_ ' Chris thought as he heard it ring the eighth time. He quickly hung it up before Aaron could pick up ' _Fuck,_ **_fuck_** _, don't ruin this, you want this, you waited this long, don't fuck it up. Aaron will get rid of this opportunity '_

 

He picked the gun up, and placing it against his head, right above his ear, he took a deep breath and held it, trying to press the trigger as he squeezed his eyes shut. It was easy, it would just be a second before it would be over and done with, he wouldn't even feel it, but even with that he couldn't make himself do it _._  His hands stopped shaking as he sat there, still holding his breath. He tried as hard as he could to pull it, he tried, he thought of his reasons and apologies on why he was doing this, but he  _just couldn't do it_.

With his lungs starting to burn from holding it, he gasped as he let it go, chest heaving as he dropped the gun again and fell on his back, his hand feeling the sheets as he got his breath back. 

' _Why can't you fucking do it Chris_ ' he thought as tears blurred his vision ' _Why can't you just fucking do this_ '

He blindly searched for his phone, and when he felt it he fumbled with it as he hastily turned it on and unlocked it, going back into his contacts and calling Aaron again. He _needed_ to get out of this situation. As he put the phone back against his ear, and hearing it ring, he started crying. He covered his face with his other hand, starting to sob as it rang the second time.

He felt scared, angry, and pathetic with himself. He didn't do it. He knew it was good he didn't do it but he felt utterly weak for not. On the third ring Aaron picked it up "Hey, what's up buddy-" Aaron said before stopping "Hey, you okay?" 

Chris couldn't speak, he kept sobbing as he started shaking from all the adrenaline that had been pumping through him during his 'attempt', or whatever the fuck he just did. He heard Aaron ask him again if he was okay

"I have a gun" he blurted out, choking on the last word. Chris only heard him breathe as he held back his sobbing again "I have it loaded, I loaded it and the safety's off and I just tried to" he hiccuped loudly "and I just tried to kill myself with it and I don't want too anymore and I just _need_ someone to come over before I try again"

There was a second before Aaron finally spoke up "Okay, Chris, uh, shit"

Chris could hear him shuffle around before he spoke clearly and sternly "Chris, I need you to stay on the phone with me okay? Are you at your place?" Chris could barely choke out a 'yes' before Aaron spoke again "Okay, good, I'll be over in a bit but I'm going to call 911. They may get there before me but I'll meet up with you at the hospital if they do"

He could hear keys rattling, as well as him telling someone to call 911. Chris didn't say anything, still trying to stop his crying as Aaron spoke up again "Chris, you gotta talk to me" 

He nodded, sighing loudly as his breathing started to slow down "Good, good" Aaron said "Now, are you alone?" 

"Yeah"

"Okay, do you still have the gun with you?"

"I'm still holding it"

He heard Aaron breathe deeply, as well as a car door close and an engine start "I need you to put it on safety, put it in the living room and go into your bedroom, the ambulance should be there and they're going to help" 

As Chris pushed himself up and started walking to the living room, he felt guilty. What had he done? 

"We really care about you Chris, we really, really love you" Aaron said, the seriousness foreign in his voice. He heard someone ask what was happening, Aaron starting to inform them on what was happening, and as Chris heard the faint sound of an ambulance siren, he closed his eyes. 

_What the fuck has he done_

......

 

Chris's eyes felt heavy as he laid on the hospital bed, the sound of footsteps and talking muffled through the glass walls. He stared down at his hands, watching them as they shook. He looked up, staring at the guard who stood outside of his door, glancing back at him once and awhile, presumably to make sure he was still safe. He let his head fall back against his pillow. 

 

After he had placed the gun onto the living room floor, he had heard the ambulance stop outside of the building. Looking out and down towards the street, he saw the flashing vehicle parked on the road, the two medics pulling out a stretcher, one of them holding a big black duffel bag and the other a smaller, red bag. A few minutes later there was knocking at his door, and Chris opened it and gave a quiet 'hello'

They had been very kind, asking him loads of questions as they sat him down and started to do some quick vital checkups; "How are you doing", "What was the problem", "Do you take any medication, and if you do have you taken them yet", "Have you been sick recently", and a bunch more, but watching as a police officer came in and grabbed the gun, he dazed out. He just kept humming **'mhm's** or **'m mm's** before they helped him up and started walking towards the door, their arms linked with his. When he got into the hallway he saw his neighbors standing outside their doors. Embarrassment heated up his face, and Chris ducked his head away from them as they entered the elevator. 

 

He couldn't really remember anything after that. 

Chris started crying again, covering his face with his hands as tears started dripping down his cheeks. It felt surreal that an hour and a half ago he had held that gun to his head, trying to pull the trigger. y contact. 

He was still crying when someone entered his room, and peeking through his fingers, saw it was Aaron, accompanied with Burnie. Again, embarrassment heated up his face. They both smiled at him, but the sadness in their eyes contradicted them. He uncovered his face, reaching out to them as they both came up and gave him a hug. Then, he started sobbing. They both still hugged him, Burnie tightening his hold as Chris sobbed loudly, tears dampening Aarons shoulder as they let him cry. 

He didn't stop crying for an hour, and when he did he couldn't stop the hiccups or the headache.

"I don't know why I did it" Chris said as his doctor left the room "I just," 

He just stared at his hands, Bernie nudging him to keep talking "I just wanted it to be over, you know? I just wanted to be done with it" 

Chris started crying again, and Burnie and Aaron hugged him just as tightly.

He cried when his parents showed up the next night, and he cried every night he was at the hospital.

He cried when he was moved into an inpatient unit an hour away from the hospital. He cried when he reached the month mark from the night of the attempt, and he cried when he felt like doing it again, only this time talking to the nurses about it. 

When he finally went a week without crying, and the suicidal thoughts that came with them stopped, even if they were gone for a few weeks at a time, Chris felt like he was finally starting to get out of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeesh, not simple enough ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡  
> WHAT DO YA THINK OF IT?? Leave a comment below to let me know, I need some feedback dog. This is hard to know if it's good or bad on my own! d:


End file.
